haha

now veri sian... studying for physics n orgain chem...
so sad... k lah gtg.... need to rush...lol

cya

A game of sudoku...

what do you see life as??

for mi ... only recently i found out that my life is as good as a game .. a game of sudoku....

for the past 7 yrs.. life has simply been thrown into the dustbin. If i had did well for my psle... if i had aced my O' lvl life in JC now, at least i think, would be heading towards the shining star of tomorrow...

seriously i am very confused....

why SUDOKU??

i felt that my life isas good as one cos i had already taken the wrong path n not realising it untill recent... whenever u do sudoku... and happened to make a mistake in filling just one of the boxes... u will not realise it till u saw something had gone awfully wrong... by then it would had been too late to rectify the wrong moves since most probably the wrongly filled boxes would have been long forgotten... for most of you.. scraping and redoing it would be the best solution... cos frustration might had already deter u from takin a second look at it....

sometimes i simply hoped that life can start all over again... go back in time n do what is necessary... get good results for my psle and get into a good secondary school...get good results for O's and get into a good JC... i might had continued with 4 sub.. i might have not given up on s paper

i had even had dreams abt it.. that i was another person i had a younger sis.. we were standing outside of our house... n seems like we had did something wrong n thats y my ' mum ' wouldnt allow us in... though it seems to be like a lousy dream... i kind of enjoy to be 'him'

pls leave mi out of this game of sudoku...

Tears?

what is the meaning to life... recently i came across my long-Stagnant blog... i stumbled over it when i was looking at hui yis blog...

i was feellin quite down ever since the official end of CNY on the 13th of feb 2006.. i had quite a lousy New Year... CNY is my favourite festival of all... always hoping to have a ever memorable one ... since young i had always treated these special days as the peak of the year...(its some kind of motivation for mi to look forward to the start of a new year)

but it seems like CNY of year 2006 was one that was way off my ideals.. similar to last year, i did my yearly routined spring cleaning... however it overshot the timelimit...what i meant is that i was still doin all the cleaning up even after 12am.. it was really really sad to start a new year with the vacuum cleaner still on ur hands and old clothes still on (pathetic) ... sheer enjoyment for such an joyous occasion was obvious out of the question.

what is the problem u may be askin.. there is nothing wrong to start a new year like that.. for some might say

Tests after exams ... exmas after SPA... SPA after tutorials... tutorials after test... and this vicious cycle is seemingly never ending = PRESSURE of JC education

PAP kindergarden... Montfort junior... Hougang seconday.. Meridian Jc....National service.. University.. work = PRESSURE of growing up and expectations of becoming an adult

it may seem like a joke to you ... but seriouly.. i had much more expectations for this year's CNY since its likely that my next CNY will be spend in the army camp... i wanted to have one last 'childish' CNY n thats ALL.. but it didnt turn out to be that way.. futhermore.. my ah gong just passed away last yr.. so they decided not to meet up anymore at my aunty's hus... i was asking some my cousins n they agree too.. as you grew up.. feelings for Cny become dimmer after each yr.. rmb the days when i came bk from kindergarden after CNYeve celebration.. i was jumpin with all my might up n down on my mums matterss.. i was feeling so happy back then.. where had all theses feelings gone.. i hate to c changes sometimes.. i hate to grow up sometimes too

can you see what i am experiencing?...

2 yrs down the road i m no long be a child anymore.. maybe i m not mature enu... u may say being an adult gives u many other more privileges.. but the main concern is... what will my aim be once i left the world of mugging.. also.. i still dun felt like stepping out of the shelter of my mums wing

i c no meaning in life 2 yrs down the road.. maybe its a yet... i also felt like a computer under programming.. n its expected to be put into service in nov 2006.. its almost like a rat race... cos everyone wants their computer to perform the best .. that is y the computer has to be on for 24hrs a day 7 a week... exhaustions

hollow n empty is my heart now.. can anyone tell mi?? pls ignite my heart once again with what i searching for..

dun worry if u r some1 who knows mi well n happened to read this.. i m just feelin a little bit down..

11.30pm